The Law of Attraction in Internet Dating

Call it attraction or chemistry - it's that "pull" we look for in dating online or offline.   There's often no rhyme or reason we can understand for why we feel an attraction to someone - yet the reason is there hidden somewhere in our past.

There are men and women who choose partners based on what they do, how much they earn, how shapely or handsome they are...but most of us feel an almost instinctive pull to a certain body type or facial shape.   We don't know why it happens and seldom do we question it.   We attribute the feeling to "chemistry" and go with the flow.

That's fine as long as we aren't choosing mates only by the law of attraction criteria buried somewhere in our subconcious.   If you find yourself repeating your mistakes in relationships by choosing the wrong type of person again and again, you may need to look at yourself closely.  Chances are somewhere in your past you knew some who exhibited those traits or who had that general appearance or body type.  If it was a person who made you feel safe and loved, you may have formed a preference for a certain appearance without realizing it.

In the same way, if there was a past experience that was negative, uncomfortable or frightening you may associate those feelings with a certain "look" or "type" of person.   That might lead you to eliminate someone who is perfect for you except for that rush of "chemistry".   Or it may lead you into a relationship with someone you have nothing in common with.

It's also possible that the association you've made in the past with a certain type of person....is wrong.   Subconscious opinions formed through childhood experiences are from a child's point of view.   My favorite uncle was handsome, exciting, always fun and I adored him as a child.   As an adult I still loved him but realized he was also self-centered, cheated on his wife and was a narcissist.  He was a great uncle - but I wouldn't want a relationship with someone like him.

There are times when we need to understand why we might choose the bad boy in order to correct our own mistakes going forward.   There are other times when we can just accept that a certain look or personality makes us feel good.  What we can't do is talk ourselves into being attracted to someone if the attraction is just not there.

The law of attraction is just as strong in internet dating.   You can increase your chances of meeting people who will be a good fit for you by taking the time to understand yourself.   The best relationships and friendships you can have are those where you are able to be yourself and it's good enough.